Thursday, March 16, 2017

Bhaang & BJP ( भांग और भाजपा )

I am not a big Bhaang (Hemp) Connoisseur. Truth be told, I have only tried it twice in my life. Once, many years ago, in a hostel in DU and the second time, this Holi, in JNU. You can appreciate my choice of venues. :D

Bhaang has its own ways of working. Initially all seems fine but after an hour or two, it hits you. In my case, it blurred my brains ability to make distinction between reality and illusion. For example, 10 minutes after talking with my friend over the phone, I wasn't sure whether I really talked with him. I had to pull out my phone and check the call-log to reassure myself that it wasn't a dream.

If Constitution were a person, I guess BJP is having a similar impact on him as Bhaang had on me!

The way this party is coming up with one gimmick after another, even Constitution must be thinking, "is this really happening with me or is it just a nightmare?"

Imagine, just 13 seats in pocket - 7 seats short of simple majority and 4 less than the single largest party - and they have formed the government in Goa! You can imagine what sort of 'negotiations' they must have indulged in with other MLAs to reach the magic number. Same story repeated in Manipur. True, who needs to have seats in pocket when you have Governors.

Before the recent trickeries in Goa and Manipur, they tried to dope the constitution last year in Uttrakhand and Arunachal Pradesh by imposing Presidents Rule on the pretext of some of the lousiest excuses. Thankfully, these attempts to 'stone' the Constitution were foiled by the Supreme Court of India.

But, Bakre ki ammi kab tak khair manayegi? Out of the frying pan of President's rule, into the fire of Money bill ! The constitution, sitting in the circular restaurant, categorically ordered 'ordinary' lassi but they tipped it with AADHAR - a very potent variety of Bhaang which enables the other person read everything in your mind.

On 8th November, they robbed the constitution and its family of 86% of its wealth in broad day light. Since the name was charming (although it started with 'demon') and most of the people were stoned, they didn't complain and the handful of those, who did, SC didn't listen.

With the constitution finally stoned, they are now after his family - the people of India. They are particularly after those who are not yet stoned. There is still not enough nationalism in their blood. They have been labelled as Anti-nationals. Since, they speak too much logic, logic has been renamed as 'Sedition'!

So successful they have been with this narrative, even the Supreme Court, the good old friend of the Constitution, has started doubting its family's patriotism. It now demands them to prove it by standing up motionless on 'Jan Gan Man'.

But I believe that Constitution is a strong guy. He won't remain stoned forever. But after recovering, maybe in a few years, he will certainly ask, "did it really happen?"