Tuesday, May 8, 2012

5 things you can learn from “Vicky Donor”

Those who didn’t know Sperm Donation was a business suddenly woke up after seeing this movie and realized how much money they have flushed down the drain (literally). We all read and shared that on facebook. But if you are an observant and curious 'sperm', there are more things in store for you. The Five things that I learned from this sensible laugh-riot are –

1)    Persistence is the key – Don’t take 'NO' for an answer
Yes, that’s the greatest sales lesson this movie teaches. We all know it and there’s nothing sensational about it but ask yourself, how many of us follow it as passionately and shamelessly as Doctor Chaddha and Vicky did?
Vicky said ‘NO’ to donate his sperms – not once, not twice, not thrice – but so many times that I have even lost the count. But Dr Chaddha (superbly played by Annu Kapoor) didn’t take any of the NOs to his heart and finally won Vicky’s sperm!
The same indefatigable spirit was exhibited by Vicky while picking up Ashima. Honestly guys, how many of you would have stood against the never-ending cold-shoulders given by the girl? But he simply went on with his stuff, finally thawing the ice of disregard with the warmth of his smile and cockiness (assisted by Ashima's friends).

2)    Why so serious?? – Loosen up a bit
First things first - guys simply love the chase. But when the entire movie turns out to be a chase sequence, it’s a turn off. There’s no point in being too uptight and too serious all the time. Be a sport, have some fun.
Lets face it, Vicky had to romance that girl (after all, he was paid to do that) and hence he tolerated all that frigidity, but girls, to expect that from every guy would be a folly.
Now, I am not saying that you simply turn off your 'firewall' and welcome every Tom, Dick and Hariharan; that will be dangerous. But don’t keep it too high that even genuine websites don’t open up! Give a chance to the guy and to yourself.

3)    Chuck e-banking, go to your bank damn it!
Nightclubs and bars are passé. Banks are the new Pick-up hot spot. With so many beautiful girls doing MBA in finance, the ‘Glamour Capital’ of banks has witnessed a steep rise. So stop losing your money and sperm count in a bar, go to your bank and get lucky!
There are great opportunity losses associated with e-banking or calling the customer care of your service provider all the time.
And lastly,  if your bank is 'Air India', Fly Emirates (can't say Kingfisher any longer cuz that's bankrupt!)

4)    Porn is cool – 3 cheers to Sunny Leone!

In the 'climax' of movie the doctor says– “the reason of the happiness of these couples (who were earlier childless) is Vicky Donor”. But trace it a little backwards and you will realize that the foundation of this happiness was laid down with PORN! No porn, no sperm, no pregnancy, no baby, no happiness. Are you able see where I am coming from?
So stop treating porn as a poor cousin of mainstream movies and give it equal if not more respect. We certainly don’t want to lose more talents like Sunny Leone to Bollywood, do we? This ‘groin-drain’ needs to be checked before it robs us of our happiness!

5)    Marriages can’t last long on a lie, LIVE-IN can!
First of all, why the hell did they marry? I can’t believe that a film based on such a sensitive and modern topic can be so regressive. Plus marriages aren’t so simple that the groom says he is into trading (with zero investment, super-high returns) and everyone simply takes his word. There is a whole lot of CID inquire that goes into. Plus, you have to disclose everything else face the music later.
However, a Live-in doesn’t invite all that scrutiny. People are together as long as they like each other’s company. You need not to be an open book if you don’t wish to and relationship doesn’t normally falls apart if some ‘insignificant’ secret surfaces later.