Saturday, December 29, 2012

Status Quo ... maintained!

Early this morning, the Delhi gang-rape victim died. The entire Nation is mourning however it's a blessing in disguise for the government.

Now they can do what the people want - HANG the Rapists.
without any major changes in Rape laws, any police or Judicial reforms. STATUS QUO maintained. that's what they want.

And when they will be hanged, it would be a moment of catharsis for all of us. Justice delivered. Sab theek hai. Status Quo maintained...till the next heinous rape happens. That's what the society at large want's too.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Death Vs Multiple 'Life'

would u like to agree with me if I say -

Instead of asking DEATH for a Rapist, Why not ask for LIFE? Not just one but many!!!
By life i mean life-term. 2 or 3 or more LIFE sentences running one after the other like a cascade(instead of running parallel).
So if the culprit gets three life terms, he remains in the jail for 14X3 = 42 yrs. which is gazillion times better than death !

Presently, no matter how many murders/Rapes a person has committed he gets only ONE life term and he is out after 14 yrs!!!

whatsay.... should we ask for it? if yes, then our SLOGAN from now on is -

Don't hang them, that's too simple,
give'em 'life', not 1 or 2 but multiple!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Hypocrisy Reforms

I slept at 5 AM the night before but still got up at 8 to join the Protest against Delhi Gang-rape Case going on at RAJ PATH (Rashtrapati Bhavan to India Gate). I was there yesterday as well.
But today, my steps were heavy. I was ruminating restlessly while sitting in the metro. I reached Rajiv Chowk but I was still in a DILEMMA. Because...

I didn't belong there. I didn't subscribe to their demands (rather, rants). I don't think CASTRATION or execution is gonna have any impact on the number or heinousness of rapes.

The kind of recklessness and AGGRESSION men were showing there and the utter disregard of presence of girls while abusing Police, was more of an indicator of "what they are essentially made of".

If one idiot throws a water bottle on the cops, the entire mob just starts throwing bottles and rubbish and stones across the barricades. why? and this is just the tip of the iceberg of the mobbocricy over there.

While I respect the sentiment of the people but their ways of protesting and the solution that they are demanding (coyly amplified by the electronic media, without giving an iota of space to a contrarian view in the majority of their coverage) is not hitting the Bull's eye.

I think there are three major weapons to combat this rot (and crime in general) - two in the hands of the govt -
viz. POLICE Reforms (which will ensure honest investigation) and JUDICIAL Reforms (for speedy trial n conviction). Why not demand these two gems rather than two 'balls'?

And the third weapon, the 'Brhahmastra', is in our own hands; it's called HYPOCRISY Reforms. Till the time we keep worshiping goddess Laxmi, Saraswati, Durga etc to bless us with a son, till the time we ask our girls to behave like a 'girl', all the other reforms will only have a tokenish impact.

Coming back to the dilemma...I chose not to go.
good decision or weakness to stand for a cause ? I don't know.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Judicial Reforms???...Meri laash par!

This is my Neo Moment - when the 'Matrix' becomes clear!

at present, any crime done by politicians/bureaucrats/business tycoons (in short - anyone with Money, power and influence) lingers on and on and on till eternity while any crime done against them is heard straight in the Supreme Court. What an ideal scenario!

Speedy Redressal and High conviction rate can be the worst possible thing that can ever happen to our feudal government. And therefore, one thing that it would never ever want is ... JUDICIAL Reforms (Police Reforms is a corollary to it). It's not for nothing that India is still being run on 18th century Laws designed by the Britishers to essentially subvert us.

I can guarantee you that even if the entire nation demands it, the govt. will reply in this typical BOLLYWOOD style - Judicial Reforms tak pohochne ke liye tujhe meri laash par se guzarna hoga!

Sadly, govt. is not a's a system that can't be killed !

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

He founded Amity, Dumbfounded me!

Amity is history now. I have moved on long back. I hardly have any memory of attending it now but some things are so ludicrous and bizarre that they always secure a special corner in your subconscious mind and spring back (and make you nostalgic) at the slightest of reminder. "Sangathan" is one such thing.

Today (24 October), I was 'lucky' enough to attended a grand Birthday celebration at Amity University and the Birthday Boy was none other than AKC. Oh sorry, everybody at Amity is AKC! Here I refer to our founder president, Dr. Ashok K. Chauhan. 

His birthday is such a red-letter day in the history of mankind that the celebrations are not restricted to just one day, the festivities start a month in advance; even Mayawati can’t challenge that, can she? This whole extravaganza is termed as ‘Sangathan’, the annual Amity inter-course err... institutions sports meet! I guess Dr. Chauhan must have been a staunch sportsperson in his hey days!

Amity is somehow comparable to the parliament, they make rules and then they make ways to circumvent them. I can vouch that if there were no Sangathan, 50% of Amitians would have never been able to maintain their attendance the mandatory 'at least 75%'. In fact there are people who rise to the heights of being Sports Captain without ever blessing the classroom, the students and the teachers with their divine presence. You see, everything is fair in love, war and Sangathan”

Although curtains were yet to be drawn, Team ABS (Amity Business School) had unofficially been declared as the winners of the ‘Champions Trophy’ (yes, that’s the name of the coveted trophy and don’t you dare to utter the word ‘Plagiarism’ here). The ground had been converted into an amphitheater with students from almost all the courses sitting around. And in the middle we, the Gladiators, were marching with the ABS flag held high. This was a real adrenaline pumping moment irrespective of its bullsh*tness!

Talking of bullsh*t; it has only begun. Before the final two events -  men’s and women’s 100m sprint - could begin, entered the 'man of the moment'. His visit was one of the most hilarious and utterly 'nakli' moments I have ever seen in my life.  Dr. AKC, flanked by his sons, took a round in a golf cart along the race track escorted by his body guards. Our Department head ( known as ADG) was playing his part to perfection behind the …….wheel! (Yes that’s true, he was driving the cart!) 

Have you ever seen a very elementary form of Mexican wave? No.., you should have been there. As the AKC’s fleet was progressing, the guards were signaling the sitting crowd to stand up, clap and sing the ‘song of the day’, “happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to dear AKC, happy birthday to you”. Students were having the laugh of their life. Some even planned to give Birthday Bumps to the ‘birthday boy’ but later dropped the idea, ……..thankfully.

After a tug-of-war match and a short horse riding spectacle, it was the time for the awards. Sadly, not even an iota of management was apparent in the Award distribution ceremony. In the movie MATRIX, Morpheus says to Noe, “there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path”. Surely, they didn’t walk the path, or probably, they didn't even know the path. I guess ABS wasn't consulted for the Award distribution ceremony; otherwise it would have been even more chaotic!

OK, guess how many stages you would prefer to erect for such an event. 1..2..3… any other guesses? Well Amity believes in thinking big, a fundamental trait of an exceptional leader and that’s why they erected…. (Hold your breath)….. 5 stages!!! And to add insult to injury, the stages weren't numbered. So stage no. 2 could have been from the right as well as from the left. I suggest, they should have given an extra medal to the students who successfully guessed the right one to collect their medal. All the dignitaries can best be described as dummies who themselves had no clue what was happening.
(back to the present) 
I can't recall exactly what happened next but common sense points towards a photo-session with the medals and the trophies. But whatever it was, I had the laugh of my life. May he live for the next 100 years and entertain the students with similar enthusiasm every year. Its rare to find such noble souls on earth these days who, for the love of humanity, turn their birthday celebration into 'The great Indian laughter show'...inadvertently!

Friday, September 7, 2012

What's with Indian Women???

I - lets catch up?
she - sure
I - so what's ur number?
she - why do u need my number?

*I, amazed and dumbfound at the same moment.*

Seriously man, isn't a phone number the bare minimum to meet up? In which era exactly are we living?
Imagine, she doesnt turn up. What the f*** shd I do then? sit there till eternity and sing 'intehaan ho gayi intezar ki' or shd i rush to the nearest internet cafe and log into facebook and message her to know the reason of her 'punctuality' (which she will instantly reply) ??

There comes a show on Fox traveller - Whats with Indian Men - hosted by Sugandha Garg and Indrani Dasgupta. I think its time for another show - WHAT'S WITH INDIAN WOMEN???? (hosted by me!)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Metro's Refugee !

I was sitting peacefully in My 6 coached Metro. I had everything with me - a nice cozy unreserved seat, a beautiful girl siting next to me, Harper's Bazaar magazine in my hand and a bright yellowish light above me to see its glossy photos. Life was perfect.

but suddenly I was asked to vacate the Metro via an announcement. Nobody was there to explain 'why'. What I had been considering "my Metro" for the past 15 minutes was no longer mine! I was made a REFUGEE in a split-second. I had to leave behind everything I had to start a new life in an Alien overcrowded 4 coached Metro.

Now I can understand how people must have felt at the time of PARTITION. I empathize with them.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Yamuna Expressway - A Paid Media Miracle

The Yamuna Expressway can best be termed as a 'Paid Media Miracle' cuz it's nowhere close to driver's delight. OK, the road is smooth but does that make it WORLD CLASS, claimed by virtually every other media?

NOT A SINGLE BLOODY PETROL PUMP in the entire 165KM stretch !!! isn't it amazing?

Its a lonely road, with hardly any security....especially at night; There are NO LIGHTS! Reflectors can't replace the street-lights, can they? So if your car breaks down you are left to the light of your mobile phones.
Just one or two Patrol vans can be spotted after miles - A zilch in the name of security. So if you are a gang of girls thinking of a trip to Taj, you need to think again.

And in case someone meets with an accident, he is doomed because there is hardly any medical assistance on the road. Very very few exit points...making it even harder to reach the nearest hospital and virtually no U-turn options once you cross the toll booth, so if you have to return in an emergency, you have to travel 50 KMs or more anyways.

The speed limit of 100kmph is firstly, absurd and secondly, just a scarecrow. Nobody gives a sh*t to it, especially the Audis, BMWs, Mercs and NANOs !! ;)

NH 2 is so much secure and lively, with Dhabas every 2 minutes among other facilities but be prepared to starve on the expressway because the restaurants at the "Public Conveniences" points are not yet functional.. Even Water is available on select points only.

It's certainly a big turn-off, NOT WORTH THE MONEY at all and definitely a strict NO-NO if you are with Family. Howcome not a single News paper/TV channel reported the darker side of this expressway...not even an iota?

Pls avoid this 'Jewel' altogether because In the day you might die of boredom on it, but in the night you might actually DIE !

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I Owe my Freedom to...

If my Independence day had any meaning yesterday.... it was because of my Cycle !
I owe my freedom to it .... (and the puncture kit, of course :P)
the carefree roaming - Dwarka to Qutub miniar, to gurgaon, to Vasant Kunj to Nehru Park to Rajouri Garden - is possible on a motorbike but for me it would never be as much fun as it is on a bike!
(although my Ass is a bit reluctant to accept that!)

PS: Apart from biking insanely, i planted a tree (Chudail Papdi is the name), met with some amazing people, Flew kites, jammed, danced, sang, clicked photos, and ate chicken to my heart's content at Kakke da dhaba !

Friday, July 20, 2012

Media suffering from 'Bikini Syndrome'

From its humble beginnings of One-piece to Brazilian thongs, Bikini has come a long way and so has our News channels.
While I totally love and fully support the evolution of the bikini, I am mortified to see media taking inspiration from this shrinking!

One of the media’s responsibilities are to conceal the identity of a victim, especially a girl victim of rape, domestic violence or molestation. Or a child victim of abuse or any sort of discrimination.

strip tease???
There was a time when some News channels used to blur the entire Video/image but these days they only blur the face which is still acceptable.

However, it seems they believe in censoring as little as possible and hence now they simply use a black strip covering the eyes. But nobody set the guidelines about how thin that strip can be just like nobody set the guidelines of how tiny a bikini can be.

So from a big black band which used to cover the eyes and a large part of the face making the person virtually unrecognizable, they have graduated to a micro-strip that is broad enough only to cover the cornea of the victim while the eyeballs of the viewers get a crystal clear view. 

What’s the need of this formality either? Just to save from the ire of NBA? that's a toothless body anyways. So why not go the whole hog and do away with covering the face with a shoe-lace altogether. Afterall you have the job to report and your viewers want to know and see everything. 

Who cares about the repercussions it might have on the life of the victim; collateral damage I suppose? How can a person’s right to dignity be ahead of your right to higher TRPs?? Astoundingly, sometimes it’s not even about TRPs. Blurring is just too much of a hassle for the editors. And if the news isn’t that sensitive (from their perspective), they don’t really want to waste much of their time on a thankless job.

Blur the whole face, for god-partcle’s sake! You are not in the business of enticing your viewers here by showing them almost the entire stuff but hiding just a little bit for their imaginations to work. You can do that with Sherlyn Chopra’s photos/videos posing for the Playboy cover.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

5 things you can learn from “Vicky Donor”

Those who didn’t know Sperm Donation was a business suddenly woke up after seeing this movie and realized how much money they have flushed down the drain (literally). We all read and shared that on facebook. But if you are an observant and curious 'sperm', there are more things in store for you. The Five things that I learned from this sensible laugh-riot are –

1)    Persistence is the key – Don’t take 'NO' for an answer
Yes, that’s the greatest sales lesson this movie teaches. We all know it and there’s nothing sensational about it but ask yourself, how many of us follow it as passionately and shamelessly as Doctor Chaddha and Vicky did?
Vicky said ‘NO’ to donate his sperms – not once, not twice, not thrice – but so many times that I have even lost the count. But Dr Chaddha (superbly played by Annu Kapoor) didn’t take any of the NOs to his heart and finally won Vicky’s sperm!
The same indefatigable spirit was exhibited by Vicky while picking up Ashima. Honestly guys, how many of you would have stood against the never-ending cold-shoulders given by the girl? But he simply went on with his stuff, finally thawing the ice of disregard with the warmth of his smile and cockiness (assisted by Ashima's friends).

2)    Why so serious?? – Loosen up a bit
First things first - guys simply love the chase. But when the entire movie turns out to be a chase sequence, it’s a turn off. There’s no point in being too uptight and too serious all the time. Be a sport, have some fun.
Lets face it, Vicky had to romance that girl (after all, he was paid to do that) and hence he tolerated all that frigidity, but girls, to expect that from every guy would be a folly.
Now, I am not saying that you simply turn off your 'firewall' and welcome every Tom, Dick and Hariharan; that will be dangerous. But don’t keep it too high that even genuine websites don’t open up! Give a chance to the guy and to yourself.

3)    Chuck e-banking, go to your bank damn it!
Nightclubs and bars are passé. Banks are the new Pick-up hot spot. With so many beautiful girls doing MBA in finance, the ‘Glamour Capital’ of banks has witnessed a steep rise. So stop losing your money and sperm count in a bar, go to your bank and get lucky!
There are great opportunity losses associated with e-banking or calling the customer care of your service provider all the time.
And lastly,  if your bank is 'Air India', Fly Emirates (can't say Kingfisher any longer cuz that's bankrupt!)

4)    Porn is cool – 3 cheers to Sunny Leone!

In the 'climax' of movie the doctor says– “the reason of the happiness of these couples (who were earlier childless) is Vicky Donor”. But trace it a little backwards and you will realize that the foundation of this happiness was laid down with PORN! No porn, no sperm, no pregnancy, no baby, no happiness. Are you able see where I am coming from?
So stop treating porn as a poor cousin of mainstream movies and give it equal if not more respect. We certainly don’t want to lose more talents like Sunny Leone to Bollywood, do we? This ‘groin-drain’ needs to be checked before it robs us of our happiness!

5)    Marriages can’t last long on a lie, LIVE-IN can!
First of all, why the hell did they marry? I can’t believe that a film based on such a sensitive and modern topic can be so regressive. Plus marriages aren’t so simple that the groom says he is into trading (with zero investment, super-high returns) and everyone simply takes his word. There is a whole lot of CID inquire that goes into. Plus, you have to disclose everything else face the music later.
However, a Live-in doesn’t invite all that scrutiny. People are together as long as they like each other’s company. You need not to be an open book if you don’t wish to and relationship doesn’t normally falls apart if some ‘insignificant’ secret surfaces later.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Anna's Volunteers fight a new battle: MCD Elections

The Anti corruption crusade of Anna Hazare may not have been successful yet in getting Jan Lokpal Bill passed in the Parliament but it has certainly inspired three of its volunteers to enter the system in an attempt to clean it.

Meet Ankit Kakkar (29), Bharti Fotedar and Pradeep Bansal (41) who have decided to fight the MCD elections 2012 scheduled for April 15 as independent candidates with the symbol “Window”. Their wards are – Bijwasan(141), Palam(145) and Matiala(136) respectively.

All these three people had been core volunteers in the Anna’s movement and instrumental in garnering support from Dwarka and West Delhi.

They openly acknowledge the influence of Anna Hazare, Baba Ramdev and Sri sri Ravishankar on their decision. In fact they use it as their USP - wearing the “I am Anna” cap while campaigning.

They have also gone online in their campaigning and have created a facebook page - “Candidates for transparency”, which has so far 86 likes.

Their main agenda is to bring transparency and accountability in the way government functions with their impressive looking and idealistic manifesto.

Ankit Kakkar, a resident of Sec 9 Dwarka, works as a Senior Lead Engineer with globalLogic. Pradeep Bansal lives in Sec 6 and works at Metro Mines and Minerals Company while Bharti, a sec 7 resident and Engineer by education, is an entrepreneur.

to further know about them, follow the links - 

1) Pradeep Bansal (Matiala ward)
2) Ankit Kakkar (Bijwasan ward)
3) Bharti Fotedar (Palam ward) 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The king of all Dosas - CTR's Banne Masala Dosa

Masterpiece in the making. Mahesh is the name of the chef.
If there is one dish which represents South India, it has to be Dosa. However, making Dosa is just like Photography, any monkey can click a photograph but it’s a different ball game altogether to come up with a master-piece, consistently.

Central Tiffin Rooms (CTR) on Margosa Road at Malleshwaram, Bangalore is one such place which has mastered the art of making Dosas to the hilt. Although, by the looks, it appears like an ordinary eating joint; No flashy signboards, no excessive décor. Probably this surprise element adds to the ultimate taste of its Dosas.
Pure taste, no jing-bang. Clear hai !
Notice the dark brown crispy crust.

The service is prompt and the ambience is pleasing. Within 5 minutes of ordering, my Banne Masala Dosa was in front of my eyes. 'Banne' in Kannad means butter. It wasn’t an ordinary dosa after-all.

Not only it tastes different, it looks different too. Unlike other lanky dosas that u get elsewhere, this one was crisp and dark. Thanks to the butter, the outer dark crust was glistening, almost giving the feel of a glass. It’s served with two types of coconut chutnys, one of them a bit spicy. But honestly they are redundant, the dosa itself is so delicious and filling.
Too engrossed in the taste to attend to the camera!

 Without any doubt, Banne Masala Dosa is CTR’s superstar but that doesn’t mean 'CTRwood' doesn’t have any other talented ‘actors’. Mangalore Bajji, which looks like meatballs, gives you a very unique yet relishing flavor of Bangalore. The Vada they serve also also a must have.

If you are a foodie CTR is one place which will satiate all your taste buds (at least vegetarian taste-buds). It's highly likely that your search of the perfect dosa might end here. Even if it doesn't, your bar will certainly be raised.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

When M.Tech students teach B.Tech, Everyday is 'Teacher's Day'

While the Nation celebrates Teacher’s day on 5th September, Government College of Engineering, Amravati (GCEA), celebrates it every day!

Here, students of M.Tech (Master of Technology) take classes - both theory and practical - of B.Tech students. "Sometimes 4 out of 5 theory subjects in a semester are taught by these M.Tech students, while all the practicals are conducted by them," told a 2nd year student on the condition of Anonymity. "We only have one 'Regular faculty' - our HoD (Head of the Department) - who hardly teaches," he added. "A girl who just passed out (from B.Tech) last year is now teaching us!" tells a second year student, with a smirk.

Every M.Tech student who has qualified GATE (Graduate Aptitude Test in Engineering) has to do 'Teaching Assistantship' (TA). They devote 8 hours per week in classroom teaching and/or laboratory assignments for which they get a stipend of Rs. 8,000/month. However, In the name of 'Classroom teaching' they are being forced to teach theory subjects for an entire semester at the cost of students' career.

'Classroom Teaching' is meant to provide some teaching experience to the students," said Dr Rita Goyal, Senior Consultant at National Project Implementation unit (NPIU). NPIU implements Technician Education Projects of the government assisted by World Bank. TEQIP is one such project which talks about this Assistantship. She said that neither an individual nor many such M.Tech students collectively, be forced to teach theory subjects to B.Tech students. The college must have faculty with appropriate qualifications.

Not all students at GCEA take theory subjects but there are no criteria behind making this choice. "It's based on our discretion" was the reply of Mr Chatur, HoD of Computer Science and Engineering (CSE).
Department of Technical Education (DTE) under which the institute comes, clearly mentions on its website that one has to be at least M.E/M. Tech with a 1st class in either Bachelors or Masters degree to be an Assistant Professor on contract. But Mr. Chature confessed that they had teachers on contract in the past who were just!

While these 'Student-Teachers' can't say anything, B. Tech students have chosen not to. "We have learnt not to ask questions because their own concepts aren't clear, which they themselves confess," shrugged a B.Tech student. But the glum mood in the hostel room was lightened up when his friend recounted - "often they forget what they had mugged up and then they stare at the walls."
Also, the college enjoys academic autonomy, which means papers are set and evaluated within the college. Hence the students prefer remaining quiet and keeping teachers happy rather than jeopardising their results by raising this issue.

But the ground reality is - the college is suffering from acute shortage of teachers. The CSE department has only 7 teachers while the requirement is of 15. Only the HoD is a regular faculty while rest are on contract. Rs 24,000 is what a contract-faculty gets. Moreover, the recruitments are done by Maharashtra Public Service commission (MPSC). "The college has noting in its own hand," whines Prof. D. J. Chaudahri, Principal of GCE.

However, there is certainly one thing in college's hand - the future of 240 odd B. Tech students - with which it's playing.

(this college is just the tip of the iceberg, the rot is far deeper and widespread throughout India)